You kiss with your lips; kiss me here

Do you love with your heart, or do you love with your mind/brain?

I’m a little bit of both.

Even though die-hard romantics only and will love with their hearts, I’m sorry but I really can’t do it. In fact, I cannot stand people who love this way. Not saying anything negative about them. I do admire them for their courage for putting themselves out there to experience it all; the pain, joy, sadness whatever and perhaps this is what the big Love is all about. But the thought of putting myself in such a vulnerable position doesn’t really appeals to me. And I cannot understand why will anyone wanna do that, like, what for?

I’m surrounded by friends who love with their heart ok, like plenty of my close friends love in this manner. And they always complain that I am way too logical in this area and their thoughts to it were actually quite different. Some say that this isn’t the way to love. While some admire me for staying even so logical for the matters of the heart. I’ll say I agree for the 2 kind of reactions I received from them. Sometimes I can’t stand myself either, but yet, when I see how my friends “suffer” when their love is unrequited, I told myself that I’m right, you can’t possibly love in this way, you will just die of sadness one day. (ok la, not that serious, but metaphorically k)

When I say I’m a little bit of both, naturally to me, feelings play a part too right?! I cannot just love someone for what they have or what they do, this magical feel plays a very important part as well. But no, I won’t be heads over heel in love with one person or anything like that. I won’t even let myself have this indulgence of continuing to like the person if lets say I know this is something that will have no results. Even tho lots of people are saying, if you never try, you will never know. Sorry hor, I trust my instinct very much on this kinda stuff, if I miss out on something wonderful, so be it. No fate la, in that sense.

BUT. I also not superwoman k, I cannot just turn off my feelings like switching off an electrical appliance. It takes time la of course, but I will make sure that I am doing my best in stopping all contact with the person. So I can really bang the wall if I like someone who’s in e same class as me like I used to. Haha!

In fact, I once thought Joey didn’t like me like I do for him and I am going to start all this no-more-contact regime again when he confessed his undying love to me (k la, not much of undying love. more like stammering and stuttering over the phone) so he is one lucky guy. 🙂  I’m dead serious you know. I was telling myself, to start this whole thing the next day and that very night he confessed to me. Lucky or what! My friends asked me before what if he confessed like a few days later, will I accept him and I thought about it long and hard. I think I won’t be accepting him so readily. Dead serious. But I think I am just being plain stubborn. Oh wells, but I’m like that!

And thats precisely why I don’t understand why my friends will continue to let themselves fall deeper and deeper into this hole when they obviously know that nothing good is going to come out of it. For what? Sigh. But, to each his own la ah. Its just like how they will never understand how come I will have that stupid regime of mine.

However its totally a different thing when there’re feelings and time invested in the rship.  Things become more complicated as one tends to be more emotional rather than rational. It’s like, there is this chance of everything is gg to work out perfectly and it’s gg to be a happy ending waiting for you at the end. So why not? So you give it all you got, cry when you’ve an argument again, smile when you’re happy with him. It’s just too difficult for you to say goodbye.

I am sooooooo madly contradicting. I KNOW.

Ok, going to end this post adruptly here. BYE.